Apun Karta Hai Love Tumse
Bolay to Ma Kasam Se
Pooch Apun Ke Heart Se
Akha Ek Ek Part Se
Ander Sapno Mein Tu Hai
Bahar Bolay To Bhi Tu Hai

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Last night Harry and wife were sitting in the living room, talking about life...


In-between, they talked about the idea of living or dying. He said to her: Darling never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die'. .

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Most men like women. But, most men like beer too ! So, for men it becomes a rather confusing choice between women and beer ! Following is a debate, developed by the University of Mumbai , in India .... to help you analyze which is better !

Here is the debate ....... (Women, pls kindly take it in the right sense)


A Beer is always wet, a woman is not !
1 point for beer !

Beer is horrible, when it is hot !
1 point for women !

A cold beer, satisfies you !
1 point for beer !

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Mushkil hai apna mel priye ( Desi Poem )

mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye, (my love)
tum MA 1st division ho, main hua matric phel priye,
mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye, (union)
tum fauji afsar ki beti, main to kisaan ka beta hoon,
tum rabadi kheer malai ho, main to sattu sapreta hoon,
tum AC ghar mein rahti ho, main ped ke neeche leta hoon,
tum nai maruti lagti ho, main scooter lambreta hoon,
is kadar agar hum chup-chup kar aapas me prem badhayenge,
to ek roz tere daddy Am    rish Puri ban jaaenge, (alas he is no more!)
sab haddi pasli tod mujhe bhijwaa denge vo jail priye,


mushkil hai apna mel priye, ye pyar nahin hai khel priye,

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He's teaching her arithmetic,
He said it was his mission,
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice
And said, "Now that's addition."


Then as he added smack by smack
In silent satisfaction,
She sweetly gave the kisses back
And said,"Now that's subtraction."


Then he kissed her and she kissed him,
Without an explanation,
And both together smiled and said,
"That is multiplication."


But then Dad appeared on the scene
And made a quick decision.
He kicked that kid three blocks away
And said, "That's long division!"

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky ... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

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United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!
******************************************


On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have. '
******************************************


'There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane'
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This has to be one of the funniest emails I have ever seen!!!! The guy should write a book:


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

Thank you for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits.

Regards, David.

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“I don’t get no respect.” Rodney Dangerfield made a career of these funny no respect one liners and jokes. It’s sad this crazy younger generation is growing up without the image of Rodney Dangerfield adjusting his tie and proclaiming “I get no respect, NO RESPECT I tell ya!” To get a feel for his stage character and to watch an enjoyably stupid and funny movie, rent “Back to School”. Here are some of his more famous “No Respect” one liners. A few of these might have been embellished or updated by admirers and imitators over the years, but the genre was definitely invented by the late Rodney Dangerfield, whom was, strangely enough, very respected by comedians and entertainers everywhere.


With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.


I’m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.


I tell you, I’m not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!


What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!


I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!


When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, “We want five thousand dollars or you’ll see your kid again.”

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